Saturday, February 14, 2015

Dear Future Wife

More.. https://manuelnzaku.wordpress.com/2015/02/14/dear-future-wife/

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   Happy Valentines love. I couldn’t think of a better way to gift you. I mean; I’ve gotten you all the jewelry you’ve ever wanted, be it secretly or publicly. Clothes, blah blah. All that.
So here go; I remember the first time I met you I could have almost sworn you looked familiar. Not the random pick-up line everyone uses. It’s because I read about you in proverbs 31. You’re the ideal wife and for real you’re God-sent. At face value it sounds creepy but trust me I could tell it was you from day one. I might have hidden it from you but it doesn’t change a thing. No. I dint hide it cause I am shy. Timid isn’t word in my world. I gats balls. I was just taking my time. Vetting you like a parliamentarian does. I am still not sure if I will be one though. Still deciding.
Second you must be nuts. I mean how do you fall for a guy like me? I’m not saying you’re a retard or something of that sort, I’m just emphasizing how lucky I am to have you. On that note the sages must have been right to posit that birds of a feather flock together. So, you’re a lucky one too. Just saying that you should be grateful . I’m also grateful I am with you. It’s to find great guys out here. Its much easier to find good girls. Though you weren’t easy to find. You were one headache. You should have seen all the coffees I had to take and the beers I had to crack with my best friend trying to figure you out. See it’s a win-win scenario.
I hope you remember when I was hitting on you the first couple of weeks when I played you Pompi’s song ‘Kakambidwe’. I hope you still remember it, it’s been a while though. In case you forgot it here’s the link. Have a listen. You remember this line? I think am falling but nobody grab hold of me, cause I’m landing on love.
Then comes the bummer, I will not pay your dowry. I will tell you extensively why I will not pay your dowry in another post. Today let’s talk other things. Since I will not pay dowry you prolly are not Kenyan. At some point it means you are well travelled already. Well it doesn’t stop there. Renew your passport if its expired. There are a lot of airport officials waiting to stamp our passports.
Liebe, I hope you’re not coasterphobic. I will make my marriage proposal to you somewhere mid-air. I mean, lets spare these restaurants for once, they’ve had enough’. So when I suggest paragliding or sky-diving just join the dots and figure it out that it’s almost time to say I do.
Our wedding will either be in a french or Italian valley. There’s something about getting married in the roots. This two lands hold the roots to the vines that spring up the grapes to our favourite wine 2010 2010 Francois LeClerc, Gevrey Chambertin, Burgundy, FR. More to that reason we should’nt make that cliché dance on Kenyan weddings. If I’m to sweat on our wedding day it won’t be from dancing. No way. We’ll do a cultured dance to classical music. Cause that’s one of the reasons that got us united. Classical music. Food network will do the catering and Buddy Valastro will bake your wedding cake. I’ve simplified your work tremendously. It’s okay. You’re welcome.
You mind writing our marriage vows? Let’s write our own so that the promises can be as personal as possible. Pardon me if tears well up in my eyes during the exchange. I’m sort of mushy. The vows set by S. 45 of the marriage act are too mainstream. Plus the government seldom wants the best for the citizenry. I mean. How can the legislators want bad times, disease and poverty for us? I’m not binding my love for you with that.
In the primordial times wine was used as a sign of prosperity and that’s one of the intentions I have for our family. Prosperity. Please take care of our wine cellar.
Do you have names in mind for our kids? I don’t know if it’s the influence of affirmative action on me. But please, let me name my son and you name our daughter. His name will be Donnovan. I’m sure he will be such a ball of cuteness. We can nickname him Don. It’ll be one heck of a challenge with you to break the momma’s boy culture on virtually all male children. I was one too. But way things are. You’re in for a serious sweepstake.
In the same spirit of competition comes the issues of shotgunning with Don. You’ve shotgun virtually every day since we dated. So when Don is growing up I hope you wont mind taking the back left numerously. I need him to view life from the view of a shotgun. Or rather learn how to drive and fly firsthand. Both in The Cessna Corvalis  and our family car. I hope you don’t mind hanging out with our daughter in the back as you do each other’s make up or engage in girl talk.
Liebe please don’t cease to support me in my ambitions. Cause boo, we going places. Travel aside, we are going real places. Sometimes they I will be unreasonable but all in all nothing is impossible.
When it comes to matters pertaining church. Please maintain that. Three is a crowd but I love God too. Holy dave, thanks for coming through with that line. When I met you, you were a church goer. I wouldn’t want you to stop that.
They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Oh well, you already have my heart so no stress.  You know I love cuisine. No need to bother you with chores virtually everyday. We both know how busy we are in our careers. So, a chef may come in handy. However, if you want to cook virtually everyday. Well and good. You can sort the cooking schedule with the chef. I will cook on Sunday afternoons though.  A barbeque after church before we take our kids for skating at the sunken park later on in the afternoon.
I love you.