Fast-foward to later in the night. Dinner is now finished. Multiple glasses of wine have been drunk. Laughter is in the air and we’re debating (actually yelling over each other…because we were at that point in the night) if we should order desert. We’re talking about New York, yoga, medicine, marriage, divorce, babies, Ann arbor, and H suddenly picks up a curled section of my hair and happily compliments me on how beautiful my hair looks. “It’s perfect!” I shyly thanked her for the compliment (I’ve never really been good at accepting compliments). The conversation suddenly turns into a “how do you do your eyeliner,” and “you use liquid? I don’t even know how to use a pencil eyeliner,” and out of the blue, someone, I think it was H , muttered, “man, you’re so pretty, you should’ve been a model.” A adds in, “yeah, you’ve got beautiful hair and your figure is perfect.” After which M chimes in, “aaaaand you’re smart! You’re a doctor!”
I turn my head towards H, confused. Me? Really? They were complimenting me in ways I have never seen myself and it had left me feeling blessed, thankful, and happy, yet so confused and frustrated with myself. For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted and wished for clearer skin, straighter hair, a more toned butt, longer legs, thicker eyelashes, a better attention span, better grades, photographic memory………….. and the list goes on. It was one of those moments that they show in the movies, where your life flashes in front of your life and you think about all the times you thought you weren’t good enough. I remembered all the trips to store to try out new anti-acne cleansers, the nights that my mom slapped on coconut oil for longer, thicker hair, popping pimples (gross..i know!), and being secretly jealous of the boyfriend for having beautifully full eyelashes. I have always been one my harshest critics. And it has led to way too many years of a crushed self-esteem. I’ve always heard people say, treat others the way you want to be treated. But I want to take it a step further and say, see and treat yourself the way others see you! Your family and friends and strangers (!) will always love you despite your imperfections. And you should too.
Our conversation quickly moved forward to the best Black Friday deals we got and the new boys in our lives, however, those few minutes stuck with me. I went home and looked in the mirror, and smiled at myself as I wiped away my mascara and concealer that I use to hide my “imperfections.” No, I haven’t stopped wearing makeup. And no, I haven’t stopped complaining about my split ends. But I have finally (twenty some years later) have accepted the beauty that resides in me. Years will pass, and my concerns will change from blemishes to wrinkles. But oddly since that night, I now accept the compliments that people give me, whole-heartedly and I believe them too!
2014 was a year of a lot of change for me, both good and bad. And I’m so grateful for all it has taught me, including the night out with my tennis girls. This year has quickly come to an end, and with every year’s end, comes a new fresh beginning, bringing new hope, and new goals and ambitions. Most of us will come up with resolutions that we may or may not fulfill. I have decided to set one and only one intention for 2015: to accept and love myself everyday. And I challenge you to do the same.
Let’s boldly resolve to end the judgements passed onto ourselves and others. And even if we slip, to rise above and forgive ourselves, because we’re not perfect.
More.. http://nnarulamd.wordpress.com/2015/01/01/a-new-years-wish-for-all-of-us/
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