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Yesterday, I visited with my two “beading buds” all afternoon. It was especially hard on me since I didn’t sleep well the night before. This has always been a problem. If I have to go out for anything except shopping the next day, I have more trouble falling asleep and sometimes wake up before the alarm rings and can’t go back to sleep. Seem silly, when this is the time I need extra rest.
I chalk it up to a type of “hyper-vigilance” related to CFS/FM. It’s not because I’m worried about the next day. Like many things, it’s just a part of my life I neither understand nor seem to have control over. I could have taken a muscle relaxer, which can help on both ends of the sleep cycle, but I didn’t think of it until I was in bed. I need to take it about 7 or 8 p.m., or else it causes restless leg syndrome, which also interferes with getting to sleep. <sigh>
I was really tired when I got home at 6 p.m. I went off to bed for about 45 minutes, the max time I am usually able to lie in bed not sleeping and feeling restless after overextending my energy. The rest of the evening I just felt “depleted”, headachey and nauseated. Still restless at bedtime, I lay in bed for an hour, then got up and watched TV until so sleepy I was able to sleep at about midnight. Woke up at about 7:30 a.m. – too early, but unable to go back to sleep. Still very tired. This is typical. All I can do is take it easy until my body settles down and regains my “normal level of debility.” Acceptance is a large part of being able to relax with CFS. It does not good to get frustrated.
I’ve spent the morning watching “Rehab Addict” episodes on HGTV. I think Nicole is the person I wanted to be – ambitious, self-sufficient, digging into new things. Now I’m thinking about how I can redeem the day a bit. What can I do to feel like the day wasn’t totally useless. I watered the plants! Not enough to make me feel productive. I think I can finish a little hand mending I have to do and maybe get started cutting 24 gauge copper sheet to make enamel color samples.
I purchased an enameling kiln in January with some funds I’d earned selling jewelry and money from friends and family from my October birthday and Christmas. I spent an additional bundle on the essential equipment. I am indebted to Barbara Lewis of Painting With Fire (Google her for all her sites) for letting me know that even I could enamel using a torch. I bought my torch-firing equipment/supplies about 2 years ago and had a ball. I wasn’t happy with the unpredictability of the method, however. Since that time, Barbara has perfected her skills and revealed methods in her newer books and videos that make good results more certain. However, in the meantime, I was consuming all my library system’s enameling books and seeing the greater horizons possible with kiln-fired enamels.
My kiln arrived at the end of January. I set it up, rearranging my studio to accommodate it, applied the requisite 3 coats of kiln wash to the floor, and fired it up to 1500F to be sure it worked. Then it sat while I continued to recover from Christmas. Each time I pass it, I feel it’s loneliness, so I named it Sarah so I could sympathize. “Sarah is lonely; she feel useless; I need to rescue her.” (I’ve never in my life named an inanimate object before!)
I had a couple of craft projects to complete for birthday gifts, so I had to quell my desire to start enameling. Having completed those, I’m eager to get started. Since I am a linear thinker, I will have to start at the beginning and complete each step to completion. This is not considered creative, but it works for me. So, I will begin by making my color samples. I never have trouble seeing the “why” of doing foundational work. Every fine craft is built upon mastering a number of inelegant basic skills. Without these, success will be hit or miss. Among the benefits of making color samples will be: 1) practice maneuvering pieces in and out of the kiln with the bulky gloves and long kiln fork; 2) sifting an even coat of enamel and using a mask to protect other areas of the sample; 3) judging when the enamel is dry enough to fire; 4) applying silver and gold foil; 5) having the resulting samples to inform my color choices in future projects. I’m excited to get started – even with the foundation.
Excitement is easy; rest is hard. I will have to take an extended “nap” this afternoon, staying in bed at least 2 hours. What’s so hard about that, you ask? I put “nap” in quotes because I very seldom sleep during the day. When I do, it really helps, but it doesn’t happen much. It seems like my body never really relaxes. Lying in bed, feeling ill, and not sleeping is it’s own kind of torture.
I chalk it up to a type of “hyper-vigilance” related to CFS/FM. It’s not because I’m worried about the next day. Like many things, it’s just a part of my life I neither understand nor seem to have control over. I could have taken a muscle relaxer, which can help on both ends of the sleep cycle, but I didn’t think of it until I was in bed. I need to take it about 7 or 8 p.m., or else it causes restless leg syndrome, which also interferes with getting to sleep. <sigh>
I was really tired when I got home at 6 p.m. I went off to bed for about 45 minutes, the max time I am usually able to lie in bed not sleeping and feeling restless after overextending my energy. The rest of the evening I just felt “depleted”, headachey and nauseated. Still restless at bedtime, I lay in bed for an hour, then got up and watched TV until so sleepy I was able to sleep at about midnight. Woke up at about 7:30 a.m. – too early, but unable to go back to sleep. Still very tired. This is typical. All I can do is take it easy until my body settles down and regains my “normal level of debility.” Acceptance is a large part of being able to relax with CFS. It does not good to get frustrated.
I’ve spent the morning watching “Rehab Addict” episodes on HGTV. I think Nicole is the person I wanted to be – ambitious, self-sufficient, digging into new things. Now I’m thinking about how I can redeem the day a bit. What can I do to feel like the day wasn’t totally useless. I watered the plants! Not enough to make me feel productive. I think I can finish a little hand mending I have to do and maybe get started cutting 24 gauge copper sheet to make enamel color samples.
I purchased an enameling kiln in January with some funds I’d earned selling jewelry and money from friends and family from my October birthday and Christmas. I spent an additional bundle on the essential equipment. I am indebted to Barbara Lewis of Painting With Fire (Google her for all her sites) for letting me know that even I could enamel using a torch. I bought my torch-firing equipment/supplies about 2 years ago and had a ball. I wasn’t happy with the unpredictability of the method, however. Since that time, Barbara has perfected her skills and revealed methods in her newer books and videos that make good results more certain. However, in the meantime, I was consuming all my library system’s enameling books and seeing the greater horizons possible with kiln-fired enamels.
My kiln arrived at the end of January. I set it up, rearranging my studio to accommodate it, applied the requisite 3 coats of kiln wash to the floor, and fired it up to 1500F to be sure it worked. Then it sat while I continued to recover from Christmas. Each time I pass it, I feel it’s loneliness, so I named it Sarah so I could sympathize. “Sarah is lonely; she feel useless; I need to rescue her.” (I’ve never in my life named an inanimate object before!)
I had a couple of craft projects to complete for birthday gifts, so I had to quell my desire to start enameling. Having completed those, I’m eager to get started. Since I am a linear thinker, I will have to start at the beginning and complete each step to completion. This is not considered creative, but it works for me. So, I will begin by making my color samples. I never have trouble seeing the “why” of doing foundational work. Every fine craft is built upon mastering a number of inelegant basic skills. Without these, success will be hit or miss. Among the benefits of making color samples will be: 1) practice maneuvering pieces in and out of the kiln with the bulky gloves and long kiln fork; 2) sifting an even coat of enamel and using a mask to protect other areas of the sample; 3) judging when the enamel is dry enough to fire; 4) applying silver and gold foil; 5) having the resulting samples to inform my color choices in future projects. I’m excited to get started – even with the foundation.
Excitement is easy; rest is hard. I will have to take an extended “nap” this afternoon, staying in bed at least 2 hours. What’s so hard about that, you ask? I put “nap” in quotes because I very seldom sleep during the day. When I do, it really helps, but it doesn’t happen much. It seems like my body never really relaxes. Lying in bed, feeling ill, and not sleeping is it’s own kind of torture.
