Sugar Daddy (aka the husband who is currently sleeping on the couch):  “I don’t want to talk about it — I’m sorry I made a mistake. I bought you a practical gift. I thought you would like it, I thought you would think it was cute I thought you would think it was warm. And comfortable like our relationship”
Me: “So basically what you are saying is that — after 16 years of marriage — you think the best gift to give me  are two pillows and a sheet?”
Sugar Daddy ( aka the husband who is currently sleeping on the couch): “It’s not a sheet it’s a set of flannel sheets and they were expensive.”
Me: “Really — are you really trying to defend your flannel sheets?”
Sugar Daddy ( aka the husband who is currently sleeping on the couch): “No I knew it was bad.”
Me: “So why the hell did you get it for me — you know I am not all about needing a Harry Winston necklace — but getting two pillows and a sheet makes me think that I have lowered the bar so low that you think it is acceptable to get me a gift that is really more for the house and for you than for me. We both sleep in the bed so really this is a gift for you. Nothing abut this gift says : ‘I love you, I still think you are hot, I cherish you.’  To me this gift says, ‘You are as exciting to me as a broomstick.  So… I think you should take your pillows and sheets and get your own bed and sleep someplace else.”
More.. http://pinoria.wordpress.com/2014/12/29/anatomy-of-a-16-year-wedding-anniversary-present-or-what-not-to-give-your-wife/

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