I hate French rap. I never thought I had an opinion on the matter until my second morning in Ubud.
“J’suis l’bitume avec une plume,” shouted a rhythmically unhappy voice. It was 7am. From my slumber, I could hear this aggressive malaise in crystal clear surround sound. It appeared that I had acquired some neighbours, who (a) were early risers, and (b) had horrible taste in music. This sort of situation usually brings out the passive-aggressive in most Brits, perhaps with a hard knock on the wall, a firm shhh and yet, later on, a sweet smile as you walk past them at the pool.
But I decided to leave it. Mainly because I realised that those paper thin walls meant they would have definitely heard me singing along to Tom Jones at full pelt the night before. I think that makes us just about even.
There was a knock at the door a few minutes later. “Alexandra? It’s me. Swastika.”
I looked to the door. At that exact moment, I noticed that there was a huge swastika symbol carved into the wood above it. My head turned the other way. There was also one above the bathroom door too. Had I missed something very, very important?
I opened the door slowly. It was the grinning hotel owner. His name was Swastika. He’d brought me a delicious breakfast of fresh banana pancakes, papaya and pomelo fresh from the tree. He’s a keeper.
As he sat with me, I asked him to forgive my ignorance and tell me why he was called Swastika. Turns out, the swastika has always been a Hindu symbol of luck and auspiciousness, and it’s only developed negative connotations in Europe since it was commandeered by the Nazi’s in the 1930s. Since I met Swastika, I’ve noticed many more of the symbols carved everywhere in the smallest places all over Bali. I’m really glad I asked.
I thanked Swastika for the perfect breakfast and headed out into the mean streets of Ubud. I’d been warned about this town; take it with a pinch of serious salt, and you’ll really enjoy it. And that’s exactly what I did. I ended up loving the place.
I think that was in no small part due to the fact that my good friend Nick’s friend Julia lives in Bali, and we were able to meet up a few times. It was wonderful to get Julia’s ‘insider’ view on Ubud. She lives on the much quieter southern tip of Bali, but just so happened to be visiting Ubud at the same time as me. Perfect.
It’s probably fair to say that Ubud is the cultural centre of Bali for tourists; ethnic shops, vegan cafes and Hindu temples line the streets and there is no shortage of things to see and do.
Even Buddha needs protection sometimes.
A full-on monkey forest, picturesque rice paddies and luxurious spas mean that you could fill a fortnight in Ubud and not get bored. Plus the streets are literally paved with flowers.
Impossible *not* to climb these stairs.
But Elizabeth Gilbert has a lot to answer for. No matter where you move in Ubud, you will come across scores of American gals in yoga pants longing for the Julia Roberts treatment of Eat, Pray, Love. Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you sweethearts, but your soul isn’t going to be found in the bottom of that overpriced soy matcha latte. But I hope you enjoy your drink. And thanks for supporting local enterprises. Not.
Don’t try and blend in, Starbies. We know your game.
There are also lots of things to laugh at in Ubud; given its reputation for being a hippy hangout, some of the shops are brilliant for a cynical mooch. Like this ‘transformational clothing’ shop, which I enjoyed for its white dragon dress with integrated veil. It will indeed transform you. Into an eyesore.
Do you have this with a longer veil?
I had a good chuckle at a group of Chinese tourists in matching outfits, who were taking a photo of the man changing the exchange rates on a poster outside his shop. They made him do a thumbs up and smile. They loved it. Is anything unworthy of a photograph round here?
If there’s one thing I did well in Ubud, that was eat. I was basically vegan, and I loved it. I don’t want to lull myself into thinking my life at home would be all spirulina and shitaake mushrooms if I went vegan; I’d probably just eat barely ripe bananas all the time. But it was fun while it lasted in Ubud.
More.. https://oneseventyfour.wordpress.com/2015/01/22/tom-jones-top-models/
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