Sitting in church this morning (wow, how I never thought I would utter that phrase without irony ever again in my life), the reading and sermon were on the ten commandments. And while scaling down the ten commandments lesson for the children I was teaching after (again with the “I can’t believe I just said that”), I reflected a lot on how applicable these rules for life are in a 21st century environment and how different our world would look if we actually applied them. Here’s my updated version:
Of course, my favorite of the biblical commandments because of it’s simplicity is “love thy neighbor as thyself.” And if we did/said/acted toward people the ways which we wished we received treatment, this whole world would be a beautiful place indeed.
Here are the old testament commandments as I see them for today’s crazy world (since giving my ass the sabbath day off doesn’t seem really applicable for many reasons):
1. You shall have no other gods before Me. Stop worshiping money and cars and status and the gym and all the other things you think will make you a happier, more successful person. Focus on your family. Have some integrity. Start making choices that affect the world in a good way, all the time.
2. You shall not make idols. Stop making stupid people famous. Stop worshipping the housewives, the house flippers, the kids on the Jersey shore. Stop worshiping the Dalai Lama. Be a lama. It’s in you.
3. You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain. Use the appropriate word at the appropriate time. It’ll save you a lot of grief in the long run when you tell your spouse you’re frustrated and need some time alone, versus holding in a string of curse words and resenting them for years for leaving the toilet seat up/down. Out of each and every one, this is the hardest for me. I use the word fuck like a comma, because, even with all my college degrees, it IS the right word most often.
4. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Take care of yourself, jeez louise. Make time every day to exercise, eat nutritious meals, journal, read, reflect, relax. And do it every day. An hour of exercise is only four percent of your day. And happy parents make happy children (wives/husbands, boss/employees, the list goes on). And what I know from experience is that if you don’t schedule time for your needs every day, then life will suck you dry and you’ll have nothing left to give.
5. Honor your father and mother. Since we’re not 18 anymore, I think we realize the wisdom of our parents, grandparents, elders in general. Even if you loathe your parents to the core of it all, I think it’s best to listen to the lessons given us by older generations. They’ve lived this adventure a little longer than we and do have lessons they’ve learned. Still not loving the family thing? Get a mentor. There are lots of cool older people that really get life and how to live it. Listen to them.
6. You shall not murder. Probably the most logistically difficult of the commandments, I think we know too much about the effects our consumer choices make on our health and the health of global community to continue to make choices which kill others. I’m going to save my personal opinions on this for a much longer topic, but I think everything from the food we eat, to the clothes we wear, the car, furniture, books, and jewelry we own can quite literally kill other living beings. I, personally, have been thinking a lot about the Hindu principle of ahimsa, or doing no harm. A tough thing to do when I really want a juicy steak or the coolest Old Navy fashion. I still think this is the commandment with the most application and far-reaching results in our modern world.
7. You shall not commit adultery. Also, this is a really long and complicated issue because the nature of each sexual/romantic relationship is so different. The boundaries are so different. Sometimes a healthy imagination can enhance the commitment made to life/time-being partners. So, I’m going to apply this to my normal life of being loyal to friends and significant other. People are so wishy-washy and go with the flow when peer pressure is involved. I think standing by our friends and having the courage to stand up to our friends so they can be their best selves is a really hard thing in an America where we’re not used to talking about anything important. And if you want out of your relationship, one that’s not open, have the cajones to leave. That’s about you, not your partner.
8. You shall not steal. Things. Ideas. Credit from a coworker. Glory built on the sweat of the team. Have some integrity.
9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. Don’t lie. That’s an easy one. Don’t gossip. That’s a harder one. On the one hand, I learn a lot about observing and reflecting on the behavior of other people. I’ve come to realize, though, the talking about it creates a vicious cycle of judgement and hearsay which simply breeds negativity, hate, competitiveness. No matter what kind of life you have, you can live without that kind of drama. So start at the beginning. Say the truth. And don’t talk about people. It’s really easy. I’ve been recently converted to a group of evolved friends who have actually interesting things to talk about than the ass of the mom in the PTA or the pictures of the happy couple that surfaced on facebook. God, it’s refreshing, actually, to never talk about that boring bs anymore.
10. You shall not covet. Oh my gosh, if people would spend the time and money on actually living the lifestyle they’re trying to portray, we’d all be happy. Because we wouldn’t give a gosh-darn about how people perceive us. Instead, we purchase the thing which will make us look like we’re part of this group and then blast it out all over social media to prove we are part of that group/lifesyle. Live your life in a reflective, kind, enjoyable way. Stop caring what people think. Also, get off facebook, instagram, snapchat, twitter, reddit, whatever. Stop idolizing lifestyles and groups. That’s where you get the idea that other people are better than you. They’re not. You’re pretty fucking amazing (darn! #3!). Trust me on that.
Of course, my favorite of the biblical commandments because of it’s simplicity is “love thy neighbor as thyself.” And if we did/said/acted toward people the ways which we wished we received treatment, this whole world would be a beautiful place indeed.
Here are the old testament commandments as I see them for today’s crazy world (since giving my ass the sabbath day off doesn’t seem really applicable for many reasons):
1. You shall have no other gods before Me. Stop worshiping money and cars and status and the gym and all the other things you think will make you a happier, more successful person. Focus on your family. Have some integrity. Start making choices that affect the world in a good way, all the time.
2. You shall not make idols. Stop making stupid people famous. Stop worshipping the housewives, the house flippers, the kids on the Jersey shore. Stop worshiping the Dalai Lama. Be a lama. It’s in you.
3. You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain. Use the appropriate word at the appropriate time. It’ll save you a lot of grief in the long run when you tell your spouse you’re frustrated and need some time alone, versus holding in a string of curse words and resenting them for years for leaving the toilet seat up/down. Out of each and every one, this is the hardest for me. I use the word fuck like a comma, because, even with all my college degrees, it IS the right word most often.
4. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Take care of yourself, jeez louise. Make time every day to exercise, eat nutritious meals, journal, read, reflect, relax. And do it every day. An hour of exercise is only four percent of your day. And happy parents make happy children (wives/husbands, boss/employees, the list goes on). And what I know from experience is that if you don’t schedule time for your needs every day, then life will suck you dry and you’ll have nothing left to give.
5. Honor your father and mother. Since we’re not 18 anymore, I think we realize the wisdom of our parents, grandparents, elders in general. Even if you loathe your parents to the core of it all, I think it’s best to listen to the lessons given us by older generations. They’ve lived this adventure a little longer than we and do have lessons they’ve learned. Still not loving the family thing? Get a mentor. There are lots of cool older people that really get life and how to live it. Listen to them.
6. You shall not murder. Probably the most logistically difficult of the commandments, I think we know too much about the effects our consumer choices make on our health and the health of global community to continue to make choices which kill others. I’m going to save my personal opinions on this for a much longer topic, but I think everything from the food we eat, to the clothes we wear, the car, furniture, books, and jewelry we own can quite literally kill other living beings. I, personally, have been thinking a lot about the Hindu principle of ahimsa, or doing no harm. A tough thing to do when I really want a juicy steak or the coolest Old Navy fashion. I still think this is the commandment with the most application and far-reaching results in our modern world.
7. You shall not commit adultery. Also, this is a really long and complicated issue because the nature of each sexual/romantic relationship is so different. The boundaries are so different. Sometimes a healthy imagination can enhance the commitment made to life/time-being partners. So, I’m going to apply this to my normal life of being loyal to friends and significant other. People are so wishy-washy and go with the flow when peer pressure is involved. I think standing by our friends and having the courage to stand up to our friends so they can be their best selves is a really hard thing in an America where we’re not used to talking about anything important. And if you want out of your relationship, one that’s not open, have the cajones to leave. That’s about you, not your partner.
8. You shall not steal. Things. Ideas. Credit from a coworker. Glory built on the sweat of the team. Have some integrity.
9. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. Don’t lie. That’s an easy one. Don’t gossip. That’s a harder one. On the one hand, I learn a lot about observing and reflecting on the behavior of other people. I’ve come to realize, though, the talking about it creates a vicious cycle of judgement and hearsay which simply breeds negativity, hate, competitiveness. No matter what kind of life you have, you can live without that kind of drama. So start at the beginning. Say the truth. And don’t talk about people. It’s really easy. I’ve been recently converted to a group of evolved friends who have actually interesting things to talk about than the ass of the mom in the PTA or the pictures of the happy couple that surfaced on facebook. God, it’s refreshing, actually, to never talk about that boring bs anymore.
10. You shall not covet. Oh my gosh, if people would spend the time and money on actually living the lifestyle they’re trying to portray, we’d all be happy. Because we wouldn’t give a gosh-darn about how people perceive us. Instead, we purchase the thing which will make us look like we’re part of this group and then blast it out all over social media to prove we are part of that group/lifesyle. Live your life in a reflective, kind, enjoyable way. Stop caring what people think. Also, get off facebook, instagram, snapchat, twitter, reddit, whatever. Stop idolizing lifestyles and groups. That’s where you get the idea that other people are better than you. They’re not. You’re pretty fucking amazing (darn! #3!). Trust me on that.
