So, I was sitting by a guy I knew on the bus today. He seemed pretty nice. We talked about how crappy the school dress code is and I talked about how sexist it was that girls got in trouble for something ridiculous while guys who violated dress code were never punished. Then suddenly he turns to me and says “Well they’re just trying to teach girls a lesson, like in the real world a girl could get like molested or something for showing skin.” I replied with “Well it’s not her fault if someone violates her, society needs to learn to be more respectful to people. Showing skin is not an invitation to touch someone.” He said “Well it kind of is her fault, I mean she walked around dressing that way, and guys can’t help themselves.” What….the serious….fuck??? Sexual harassment, assault, and rape will happen regardless of what someone wears and regardless of what someone wears the crime is still the crime. Saying that is like saying “Well women shouldn’t be wearing pretty expensive jewelry out because otherwise they’ll tempt robbers, you know they just can’t help themselves.” or “If that man didn’t want to be attacked by Atheists he shouldn’t be carrying a Bible around.” Sexual abuse trauma is hard enough to face without someone blaming you for what happened…..This leads me to the question, what causes us to think it’s okay to judge women for what they wear or allow what they wear to justify rape? Well I think one contributing factor which hits close to home is school dress codes. Recently I was called out for breaking this rule “Dresses and skirts much touch the top of the knee cap while standing”. Just to be perfectly clear, I was wearing a skirt that was only slightly above the knee, unless you were really really trying you couldn’t even tell it didn’t hit the knee, I was also wearing stockings underneath so my legs were not visible, and I’d worn the exact outfit three times before with no issue. I’ve talked to many other girls with similar experiences. I understand the need for a dress code. It’s gross for adults to see young teens dressing in a sexual nature and the school environment should be clean and safe however there is a certain level of ridiculousness within the dress code. If someone’s legs are not visible and they are wearing a skirt or shorts that cover any private parts of the body than they shouldn’t be considered a distraction to learning. If someone’s shoulders are showing it shouldn’t be the end of the world….I’ve never heard a student say “Oh God her shoulders….they’re showing…how am I supposed to focus with those shoulders!!!!!!” Then we get to the other parts of the dress code that are understandable. Shirts can’t contain graphic content referencing the use of drugs and alcohol or be of sexual nature. However I’ve seen at least three boys wear shirts with naked women posing suggestively or reference something sexual. A direct and obvious violation of dress code never confronted by administration. Basketball shorts are also against dress code it’s pretty obvious when someone wears basketball shorts but again no boys are confronted for violating dress code. Sagging is against dress code, again no boys are confronted. Subconsciously this is teaching everyone that girls should be punished for dressing in a certain way but guys can wear what they want with no consequences. In the end clothes are clothes. We all come into this world naked and we all know what naked humans look like. We should respect people regardless of how they dress. Many people state that women who dress to show more skin than others have no respect for themselves, but really what is more respectful to yourself than dressing how you want to dress, expressing yourself, and taking pride in your own body?
